Hidden Desires
by fiestygirl1234
Summary: With all of Christian's mother issues, and his insecurities, what would happen if he needed Ana in a way that only she could provide. And by him needing this, it meant she had to rely on him as well in a new, provocative and sensual way.
1. Chapter 1

I've had this idea rolling around in my head ever since reading the Fifty Shades Trilogy. With all of Christian's mother issues, and his insecurities, what would happen if he needed Ana in a way that only she could provide. And by him needing this, it meant she had to rely on him as well in a new, provocative and sensual way.

Characters are not mine, only the storyline. Currently a one-shot but let me know what you think. I'm open to continuation.

Christian POV

I sit here watching Ana bounce a fussy Phoebe in her arms as she paces the family room. This has been going on for over half an hour and Phoebe refuses to settle. She's not hungry, this I know, but still I nervously look at Ana and take a deep breath. "You know you don't have to go back to work. This would be easier if you just stayed home a little longer. You could continue pumping, and you could always nurse her a little longer."

"Christian we have been over this. She isn't hungry. You know this. She had rice cereal mixed with formula as well as some baby food. She's just sleepy and is used to the closeness of nursing. She has come to depend on it as a ritual to go to sleep each night. If I continue to nurse her each morning, noon and night, she will never be weaned. I have an ample supply, but she's getting older and it's just not holding her until her next meal. I've been out of work for almost a year. I'm ready to go back. Just part time. I promise. No more than twenty hours a week. I would miss her and Teddy too much. But I need to reclaim the part of me that goes out into the workforce each day as well. Your mom told us that the first week or two would be the hardest."

I look at Ana again, doubt clouding my mind. I know the words she speaks are truth. Mom said the same thing with Teddy, and now Phoebe, but since we have decided that we may not want to have any more children I don't want this to end. This bond and closeness. My favorite part of the day is in the evenings when Ana is nursing our child, and I'm holding her in my arms. Call me crazy, but nothing touches my heart more than watching her feed our child…her breasts full and pert. I need to know that Teddy and Phoebe are well and cared for. I must know that none of my family are hungry. I suppose it is ingrained in me to be the protector due to my upbringing. But a small piece of me wonders if my mother ever fed me in this way. Did she ever brush a lock of my hair from my face as I fed, as Ana does our children?

I look over to Ana again and Phoebe seems to be settling. Her earlier cries have turned to slight whimpers and her eyes are fluttering closed. A few more moments and she will be sound asleep. Ana smirks and her look seems to relay her thoughts.

"I told you so. She just needed to cry it out a bit longer. She'll get used to it."

I rise and go to Ana and take Phoebe from her. "I'll take her up to her room. Why don't you go ahead and get ready for bed?" I lean down to place a chaste kiss on her beautiful lips and my lips seem to have a mind of their own as they travel down her long neck. "Mmmm. I'll be right up. Be ready Ana, I have plans for you."

She smiles a knowing smile and turns to go up the staircase in front of me. We look in on Teddy as we pass by his room. His nightlight illuminates his features and I can see that he is sound asleep. I leave his door partially ajar and walk into Phoebe's room. I place her gently in her crib and cover her with the thin blanket. She settles immediately and I take a minute to soak in this moment. Who would have ever thought that I would be reluctant for these days of colic and cribs, diapers and middle of the night feedings to pass considering how I acted when Ana was first pregnant with Teddy? I shudder as I think back on that night—the night I left Ana alone and dejected, pregnant and worried. I should have had my ass kicked. I'm just lucky she took me back and didn't hold it against me. I was very unprepared for her pregnancy, and for Teddy for that matter, but he quickly became my world. He and Ana, and later Phoebe. They are my world.

I turn and walk down the hall to go to the master suite. Ana has a warm bath running and a few candles lit. She undresses and then turns to step into the warm water. Before she can sit, I walk behind her and gently place my arms around her chest, pulling her close to me. She flinches slightly as I put pressure on her chest. I immediately notice and turn her to me. "What's wrong, Ana? Are you okay?"

"Phoebe's crying made my milk come down. It's not drying up as quickly as it did with Teddy and I'm a bit sore. I've been trying not to pump, since the more I pump, the more I will continue to make. That's why I'm running a hot bath. I'm hoping it gives me a bit of relief. Your mom said there's medication I can take to help, but I'd rather not take it if I don't absolutely have to."

My lips press into a thin line. Ana has not shared this with me and it hurts me to know she's in pain. I place a deep kiss onto her lips and begin stripping from my clothes. I join her in the bath and pull her to me- my front to her back. I lather up a sponge and begin gently washing her, steering clear of her breasts. I know from experience that they sometimes leak when she's sexually aroused. It has never bothered me-quite the opposite. It turns me on greatly. But Ana seems embarrassed by it at times. I've told her that there is no room for embarrassment between us, but the fact that she can't control it seems to be the issue.

Once she's clean, I quickly clean myself and pull her to me again. I add more warm water and gently rub my hands over her gorgeous body. Her baby weight was lost quickly both times, most likely aided by breast feeding, and she is more beautiful than ever. The subtle curves brought forth by motherhood have only enhanced her beauty. As I get close to her breasts, she moans slightly, and I lift their weight in my palm. They are possibly heavier than I have ever felt them. "Ana, baby, your breasts are so full. I don't think they've ever been this heavy. Are you still in pain?"

Ana looks to me and sighs. "Yes, I suppose I am going to have to pump tonight after all. I'm not sure I can sleep in this condition."

A thought passes my mind and I immediately know that Ana may not like it. My dick hardens at the thought even as I try to pass the thought to the back of my mind. Ana has done well with broadening her horizons, but I'm not so sure she will be on board with this. In the past I have, of course, tasted her breast milk while we were making love. But the thought of regularly suckling from my wife is suddenly all I can think about. I want to make sure Ana is on board, but sometimes talking about things too in depth makes her over think things. Instead of talking, I gently turn her so that her breasts are in front of me, and I make eye contact with her. Gently, ever so softly, I rub my hands down her back and over her shoulders, gently nipping her neck and jaw as I work my way to her lips. "Ana, baby, just relax. Let me make you feel how beautiful you are. Just relax."

"Oh Christian, that feels so wonderful, so good…"

Her words fade and are interrupted as my lips work their way down her collar bone and to her nipples. I gently run my tongue around the hardened pebble and I latch on, tugging the tip of her breast into my mouth.

Ana jerks with a start and I feel her tense. "Christian, as good as this feels, I told you I was full…"

I release her breast with a soft pop. I look up at her and continue my relaxing massage to her back, her shoulders and her hips. "Yes, Ana. I know. But you need to trust me to help you and take care of you. I know you hate to pump. And you know I find your breasts erotic as hell. Let me suckle from you. You'll feel better, and I get the added bonus of feasting on your gorgeous breasts."

Ana's eyes dropped to her breasts as my hands gently began a massage on their tips. Droplets of milk were showing on both nipples and I leaned down to lick them off. "Christian how is this going to help me with my supply problem? The more that is released, well…the more will be made." A blush colored her cheeks and she seemed slightly embarrassed.

I tipped her head so that her eyes met mine. "Ana, again there is no room for embarrassment. What we do is between consenting adults. Our love life and what turns us on is private and there's no wrong or right. You know that I find your full breasts very erotic. Have you ever heard of ANR?"

Ana's face looked perplexed and she shrugged slightly. "No, I haven't."

"It stands for adult nursing relationship. Some people induce lactation even if they haven't had a child. Some people begin after weaning a child from nursing. For most, it is a way to strengthen a bond between partners. Participating in an ANR means that both parties must rely on each other. If we were to do this, I would rely on you for the closeness only you can provide. I would suckle from you, and feed from you. This would turn me on. You would rely on me for the same closeness, but also for relief. You would only pump if I could not be here. Otherwise you would be dependent on me to give you your release and keep you comfortable. Most people do it several times a day to keep supply. It's not just about the milk…that actually has very little to do with it. It's more about the bond and the closeness that we feel when we're together. It's a way of making sure we sit that time aside each day whereas if nursing were not involved, it's easy to push it to the wayside when you get busy."

Ana seemed to digest what I had said. "So essentially, it's scheduling time to be together and nurse? Would you like the taste of my milk? Does it always lead to sex or is it just about the suckling?"

"Ana, baby, there's no wrong or right. For some couples, it always leads to sex or is a type of foreplay. For others, sex is never involved. In fact, some people put ads in certain papers or online looking for lactating women. It's not about the sex for them. It's about the closeness. For us, it can be about whatever we want it to be about. It doesn't have to be forever. It can be something we try and if you don't like it, if it is too much to keep up with, or if I don't like it we can stop. No harm done. But the point of it is to make sure we maintain this closeness…this bond that we have. It's a way of making sure we fit it into our daily lives."

Ana smiled at me, "And you're sure you want to do this?"

I kissed her gently. "I've never been more sure in my life. The question is do you? It's your body. And as you know, we'll have to do this several times a day to maintain supply. Now that Phoebe doesn't need the supply and is eating other foods, I felt comfortable broaching this topic with you."

"So you've thought about this already?"

"Only every time I've seen you nurse…"

Ana giggled and kissed my jaw. "Ok Mr. Gray, I'm willing to try. But if I don't like it, we stop, right?"

"Of course Ana. I would never make you do something you weren't comfortable with."

"So where would you like to nurse? Here in the tub?"

I looked over Ana's milky white skin and saw that she was beginning to get chills from the cooling temperature of the water. "How about we get dried off and move this to the bedroom? You'll be more comfortable and the water has cooled."

She nodded her consent and we both stood to dry off. I toweled off her beautiful body and held her as she stepped from the tub. I lead her to our bedroom, and watched as she climbed into the large bed. Once she was in bed, I placed an extra pillow behind her and then laid down beside her, sliding down slightly in the bed so that I was even with her full breasts. I took one of her nipples into my mouth, and placed both hands around the full breast, massaging as I sucked. My mouth immediately was filled with warm milk, and as I massaged I could feel her full release into my mouth. Once her milk was fully flowing, she groaned in relief.

"Oh Christian, oh! That feels so good, I was so tight. It's never felt like this with the babies."

I smiled around her nipple and looked up to her, taking a break from my feast. "I would hope not my love." I went back to my feast and massaged her breast occasionally with one hand while the other hand made its' way to her pussy. I found it drenched and I begin to gently circle her clit, putting the barest of pressure to it occasionally-enough to turn her on but not enough to stoke the fire. Once her breast felt empty and I was no longer getting a good supply of milk, I moved to her other breast. She arched into my mouth, begging for release from the uncomfortable pressure. I massaged the breast gently at first, then more firmly, ensuring that I got all that her breast had to offer. I kept up the gentle tease on her clit and by the time I had finished with her breast she was panting for release.

"Christian, please! I need you, please!"

Her hands had worked their way to my dick and I knew that our coupling would be short. I entered her quickly, and had to do some deep breathing to prevent myself from coming immediately. I powered into her wet heat over and over, and I could feel her immediately spasm around me, pulling me into the abyss with her. I gently slowed my movements, ensuring that she was coming down from her orgasmic high. I gently kissed her as I pulled out and pulled her into my chest.

"Christian, I don't think I've ever had an orgasm that intense."

"Ana, that was remarkable. Please tell me you enjoyed it because now that I have had a taste of you I don't know that it will be easy to get your breasts off of my mind. I'm already looking forward to suckling from you during the night."

"Christian are you sure this is what you want to do? What will we do about work? What about when you have to go on business trips?"

"Ana, I told you I have thought about this for several years. I've done my research. When we absolutely can't be together, you can pump. Or you can join me on my trips. There's also a such thing as a long lunch break. My office is only about 15 minutes from here. I see lots of long lunches in my future. The question is, is this something that you think you'd want to keep up with? It's going to take work on both of our parts to make it work."

Ana was quiet for a few moments. "Yes, I think I'd like to try it. I've never come like that before. And the feel of your lips on my breast was much different than when I nurse the kids. I'd like to do a little research myself on ANR, but the idea of having you all to myself for periods every day is definitely a plus. Not to mention the way your lips felt on my breasts was amazing. I can't describe it. The strength of your pull with your mouth and the heavy massage to my breast brought a whole different experience to it. Does the taste bother you?"

"Actually quite the opposite. I find it erotic and sweet. It has a wonderful taste."

I bent my head to Ana's breast and pulled sharply to gather another mouthful of milk. I then bent my lips to hers and opened, letting the warm milk fill her mouth. Our lips tangled together and my dick began to harden again. I knew that this new development in our relationship would take some work, but I couldn't wait to see how it evolved and brought us closer. I rolled over to take my wife again, and pulled a pebbled nipple into my mouth. At this rate, she may never lose her supply, and I found that I was perfectly fine with that.


	2. Chapter 2

Ana POV

I wake up the next morning to my alarm, stretching slightly sore muscles as I remember the night before. I can't believe how erotic it was to have Christian suckle from me the night before. Not only that, but my face flushes as I remember waking during the night to my husband gently sucking from my breast. He didn't totally empty both, as he did last night prior to our lovemaking, but he fed from each breast around 10 minutes, gently rolling my nipples across the top of his mouth in between pulls from my nipple. I gently ran my hands through his hair and grasped his member in my hand, pumping him as he fed. Our coupling was quick, yet gentle, and ended with us falling asleep in each other's arms.

Today I am making final preparations to go back to work. I plan to have Gail watch Phoebe and Teddy during the 3 days each week I am working. (Her idea, although Christian and I are ecstatic that she was so readily willing.) She truly loves the children and I know they couldn't be in more capable hands. I have several drafts to read over to prepare for my first day back, and I have some research to do today. Christian's broaching of the topic of ANR was quite surprising, but I must admit that my first couple of introductions to it thus far have been so erotic. Not to mention emotionally fulfilling. I guess in a way I feel for the very first time that I have been able to give Christian something that he truly desires (as do I) that no other person ever has or could.

As I rise to get out of bed, tying my robe as I look at the alarm and realize that it is thirty minutes earlier than I thought I had set the time for. Frowning at my mistake, I didn't realize that Christian had entered the room and was standing at the dresser, watching my every move. It's obvious from his damp locks and crisp white shirt and dress pants that he has already showered and is ready for work. "Good morning, Mrs. Grey. How are you feeling today?"

Christian takes me into his arms, squeezing gently and cupping my behind in his hands as I lean into him. "I'm feeling wonderful. Just trying to figure out what's wrong with my alarm. How about yourself? You smell wonderful. You've already showered I see."

"I have. I have an early morning meeting with Ros concerning an upcoming merger. We're looking at potentially purchasing some old textile mills in the south. We hope to repurpose them to start a line of energy efficient townhomes to help revitalize the surrounding mill villages and bring more energy efficient housing to the area."

I lean my head against his chest, wondering how he so successfully manages to handle having his hands in so many areas and doing all of them well. I already know that if Christian attempts this purchase, it will be successful and will mean so much for the areas. Energy efficiency is an important area to him, in both transportation and housing. But I'd bet dollars to donuts that he also has a plan to bring more jobs and sustainable food sources to the area as well.

"What time is your meeting?" I ask, wondering if he has already had breakfast.

"Nine. I'm going in a little early to look over some notes beforehand."

I nod my head, understanding but still wondering why he's already ready. It's barely half past seven and he normally would only be out the door a few minutes beforehand. "Would you care to join me for breakfast Christian?"

"You must be reading my mind-that's exactly my plan." Christian smirks and leads me to the sitting area in our master bedroom. I realize his plan as his hands move to undo the tie at my waist. He sits in one of the comfortable wingback chairs near the built in fireplace and pulls me between his legs, gently kneading my breast as he does so. My breasts are full, although not as much as last night, and I can tell the relief he provided during the night helped my comfort level. I've had more than ample supply with Phoebe during the time I've nursed her and have actually had to pump at times to store the excess. His grey eyes meet my blue ones and I smile lovingly at him. "Mr. Grey, your breakfast awaits, as do I." I gently lift my breast to his lips as he pulls me closer to him. Our height is perfect with him sitting in the chair, and me standing in front of him. His first few pulls make my knees feel weak and I secretly wonder if we have time for a morning quickie. I feel my milk let down as he continues to suckle, and also wonder if he would enjoy this as much if I didn't have any milk. Would he still enjoy it? How will we make this work with our work schedules and two children? Are we crazy to try?

My rambling thoughts must have made me tense, since Christian stopped suckling and began rubbing my back gently, pulling me from my thoughts. "Anastasia I can almost hear your thoughts from here. Don't overthink this. Give it time. We'll make it work if you want it to. Just relax and enjoy it. It's all about having a relaxing time set aside each day for each other and being committed to putting forth the effort for each other. Besides, when you tense up your milk doesn't come as freely. Did you know that?"

I didn't know that, but wondered if that's why the kids would often be fussy if I was upset while nursing. If I ever was moody or distracted during nursing I could always tell that my babies didn't nurse as well. I always figured that they were picking up on my mood, but now that I know my mood affected my milk supply, it made sense.

I continued to play in Christian's hair, gently rearranging his wavy locks. "I'm sorry Christian. I just have so many questions. Last night was wonderful and I think I really want this to work. I want to provide this for you. It makes me feel…I don't know. I'm not sure how to word it. It gives me pleasure I guess, to be able to provide something to you that no one else can." As I say these words a look of understanding comes across his features and he places gentle kisses on my nipples. He latches on once more, taking long pulls and kneading my breasts more forcefully than before. He continues on, smirking occasionally, which lets me know how much he is truly enjoying himself. Once both breasts are empty, he softly rubs a finger over my sex, his touch the barest of a whisper. I know that he can tell that I am dripping, yet his touch remains light…not even entering my lips. I myself can smell my arousal in the air so I know that this has not gone past Christian's attentiveness. Just as I am thinking that he is going to take things to the next step, he kisses me gently and pulls the ties to on my robe. What!? I open my eyes as he ends the kiss and the look on my face clearly displays my confusion.

"Patience, my dear Anastasia. I want you wanting me all day. I want to be in your thoughts all day long. Remember, no pumping today. I want you all to myself. I will see you at lunch. I have plans to come home at lunch for at least an hour. We need to sit down and discuss the specifics and frequency. I want you to be comfortable with what we do and what we decide. But if I had my way, I'd be suckling from you every hour."

"Christian, if you suckled every hour my breasts would be huge and I very much doubt there'd be a bra available to fit me anywhere." He laughed as I said this, as he pulled me to him once again.

"I'm sure we could find something somewhere. Or go without. I love it when you're free and unrestricted. Easier access." This he says as he smirks again. "But back to the task at hand, are you comfortable with three times each day, and seeing how things go from there? More? Less? It's imperative that you are honest with me Ana, otherwise this won't work. It will require work and commitment on both our parts. I'm up for it and fully realize the work involved. I'm sure you do as well since you have nursed two children. However, a nursing relationship between us will mean that we both have to be in the same place two to three times a day. Plus, there's the secrecy part. I'm sure you don't want others to know about it. I won't lie, but I see no reason to advertise this to any of our friends or families. As long as we are comfortable with it, that should be all that matters.

"Yes Christian, I'm prepared. And I agree with the frequency as well as keeping this private. I like that it's something just between us. Something no one else knows. It almost makes it more erotic. Everyone knows married couples have sex…make love. Many people get a little kink on. But this…well…it just feels special between us."

Christian's hand gently touches my face as he pulls me closer. "I know what you mean. I can't explain it, but when I'm suckling from you it's like I've found a piece that I've been looking for that I didn't even know was missing. I don't think I realized how fulfilling this would be."

Our intimate moment is interrupted by a cry from the baby monitor. Phoebe must have woken up wet and is demanding our attention. "I suppose I better go see to our princess."

Christian lets me go and stands to gather his suit coat. "What time do you plan to put the children down for a nap Ana?"

"Hopefully their normal time of 11:30am. I can have Gail prepare something light for lunch and we can eat on the patio outside our bedroom if you'd like."

"That sounds perfect. I'll see you shortly before noon. Remember, no pumping. I want you to massage your breasts for me several times today. I want you full Anastasia. I want you to be heavy and dripping when I get to you."

His words fill me with need and I squeeze my thighs together. Christian smirks at me knowingly.

"No touching yourself either, Ana. Only your breasts. Nothing lower."

Drats. He really needs to get out of my thoughts. Lunchtime can't get here soon enough.


	3. Chapter 3

Lunchtime finds me anxiously awaiting my husband's return. I put the kids down a little early, heaving a huge sigh of relief when Phoebe took her formula and rice better than yesterday. I also asked Gail if she'd mind looking in on the kids while Christian and I had lunch together. I have to admit, when I first met Christian, I felt very self-conscious while asking Gail to do anything- even laundry. But eventually I came to realize that there was probably very little that Christian or I could do to shock her now. She'd been with Christian as his housekeeper through many of his subs, and while I'm sure she had her assumptions about what went on in the Red Room of Pain, I am thankful for her discrete nature. I trust her with my children, and know that she loves them as her own.

Gail prepared a light lunch of Caesar salad. I have set it up on the balcony to our bedroom and there's chilled iced tea to drink. I went ahead and fixed myself a glass and started to drink, trying to remind myself how important it is to stay hydrated when breast feeding…er…nursing…er…well, whatever you'd call what we're doing. My mind recalled what Christian called our new fetish. ANR. Adult nursing relationship. Hmmm. I glance at the clock and realize it's almost noon. Christian should be here any minute. Even so, I grab my phone and open up a private browser window. I type in ANR in the search window. The first thing that comes up is a site called Urban Dictionary. I hesitate to click, knowing that I want real, factual information and maybe even personal stories. How do people make this work? Words of advice? What made them stop if they aren't participating in ANR anymore? I continue browsing and see that the next site shows ANR as a stock abbreviation- definitely not what I'm looking for. Then there's agriculture and natural resources. Nope, again not what I'm looking for. Perhaps I should spell things out. I clear the search and type "adult nursing relationship and success stories". I'm pleased to see more appropriate search results and pick one to click. As I read, I find the story of a couple that have been participating in ANR for over five years. Wow, that's a long time. One person writes that if you become a nursing couple, it's far more intimate than sex. It impacts every part of your life from where you work, to vacations, visits from family…every decision will be judged by how long it will affect your nursing relationship. I think over this and take a moment to realize the truth in that statement. Christian is such a busy man and I can't imagine him constantly making time for this. But if he did, I can only imagine how much closer it could bring us. Not that we're not close now, but with two children that's one of the things I've worried about- how it will affect our relationship.

I'm deep into my reading when I hear my husband clearing his throat. "Something interesting on your phone there Mrs. Gray?" I look up at him and realize he must have been there for a few minutes. He has loosened his tie and is propped on the doorframe, rubbing his chin as he watches me with those intense eyes of his.

"Just catching up on some research. How was your morning?" I reply as I place my phone down on the table beside the bed. I pick up my tea and take a soothing sip. Why am I suddenly nervous?

Christian steps further into the room and makes his way over to me. "My morning was uneventful. I caught up on some paperwork, had a few meetings, delegated some things to Ros…you know. The usual. How was your morning Everything go okay?"

He sits down beside me on the bed and begins to rub my back, easing some of the tension I feel there. "Everything was fine. The ususal. Phoebe took her bottle much better than yesterday. Teddy insisted on helping feed her. He also has it in his head that he wants to go out on the boat with you this weekend. Any idea where that came from?"

Christian continues his relaxing massage. Down my arm, back up, and across my shoulders, down my back and to my waist. He kisses my neck, my jawline, and my forehead before pulling back and gently pecking my lips. "I probably should have talked to you about that. My brother wants to go out on the boat this weekend to sail. He called me the other day about it and I had Teddy with me at the time. I thought it'd be a nice break for you, for me to take him with me, so that you could have some time with Phoebe. Maybe relax a bit while she naps. Will that work for you?"

I close my eyes and relax back into his arms. "Sure. How long do you think you'll be gone?"

"Not to worry. I'll make sure you're comfortable before I go." Christian replies, knowing where my thoughts were heading. "Why don't we have lunch together and then we'll see how you're feeling.

I think to myself that Christian is constantly putting my comfort before his own. I can see the clear outline of his erection in his suit pants, but he takes all the time in the world for me. I wonder to myself is it ever tiring, to constantly wonder about the well -being of another so astutely, to constantly be planning your next move, your next plan to assure their well-being and comfort. I try to think that I do that for my children, but there are times when their needs surprise me. They need a snack I had not planned ahead for. A spill I hadn't brought enough clothes for. You name it. But it seems that Christian constantly has my needs in his forethoughts. It's calming and reassuring, and yet I wonder if he ever gets tired of it. Or is it what he needs to complete his compulsiveness and planning nature. Something to think about for later.

I take his hand and walk out to the balcony. The spring air is warm and feels good on my skin. I'm wearing a button up peasant blouse and leggings. I wasn't sure if we would just be suckling today during lunch or if it would lead to other activities. I'm sure Christian has a plan, but I plan to follow his lead.

Lunch is a comfortable affair with both of us eating most of our salad. It is light and crisp and refreshing. The dressing is one of Gail's recipes and is among my favorites. As we finish the last of our drinks, Christian takes my hand. "Ana, have you been continuing to drink as you should? I don't want you dehydrated."

I smirk, knowing it will light his fuse. "Yes, sir. Of course. You do realize that I've breastfed before?"

He smirks in response and pulls me to my feet. "Yes, Ana. I do. However I know that you often tend to forget to eat enough. You are very important to me, and while you may not be breastfeeding Phoebe, and I may not be suckling from you as often as she was, it's important to keep your supply up if we plan to have you lactate. Are you comfortable with that, or would you prefer dry suckling?"

I pause to think a moment. This was one of the questions I had for Christian. "Would you be satisfied with just dry suckling?"

"Ana, you know I would. I would be pleased with any portion of this that you choose to share with me. The choice is yours. However, if that's your choice, we'll need to either get the prescription from my mom or Dr. Greene to dry up your milk or we'll need to put this on hold until it does dry up." I feel my face flush and Christian pulls me to him. "What is it Ana? You know you can tell me anything."

I clear my throat and start. "I…well, I like the feeling of you suckling. Of me being able to supply you with milk. I realize from reading a bit this morning that some people only have that and are okay with it because they never are able to lactate. That obviously isn't a problem or us right now and honestly, I want to continue to for now. To lactate that is. If you like the taste, I like being able to supply it to you. When my milk lets down it feels…erotic. Nothing like it did when I was breastfeeding the children. It feels sensual. And when my breasts are full, and you suckle them, I can't explain it. It's like I am able to meet your needs and you meet mine in a way that is sexual but not. Does that make sense?"

"Very much so Ana. I understand, and I am glad to hear you say you want to continue. I would be happy with dry suckling but I'd prefer to taste your milk. It hooks a desire in me that I can't name. It's so primal. There aren't words." He pulls me to him and kisses me deeply. "Now that we have that out of the way, why don't you make yourself comfortable on the bed while I change. I have to go back to work in a bit and I don't want these pants looking like I rolled around with my wife on my lunch hour.

I laugh as I unbutton my blouse and climb into our bed. Christian joins me wearing only his boxer briefs and begins to kiss me all over. He starts with my neck and my shoulder, and then moves up to my face…kissing me gently all over. He makes his way back down to my breasts and opens one of the clasps of my nursing bra. A portion of my breast and my nipple obviously pop out, no longer having the satin padded fabric to contain it. Christian laves it with his tongue before pulling it into his mouth and taking long draws from it. He flicks open the other clasp and my erect nipple is there waiting on his nimble fingers. He pinches and pulls until it is as he wishes, and then moves his mouth to the other breast, taking long draws from it as well. As I feel my milk start to let down, I moan slightly, but Christian stops as I do. "Tell me, Ana. Did you touch yourself today while I was gone?"

I shake my head to indicate that I did not. I did not even pump, as I had planned on doing since I wanted to be full for my husband. "No, I wanted to be full for you."

Christian smiles. "Good girl. Let's take off your bra, and I will see if I can provide some relief for you. Are you uncomfortable? Too full?"

"No, not too full. But I can tell I haven't nursed or been suckled since early this morning."

Christian continues to work my nipples as we talk. He always has a way to take my mind off of things and make me more comfortable with the conversation at hand. "Ana, do you prefer being full when I suckle you? Is the sensation the same as when you're not as full? Does it feel painful?"

I take a moment to think about his question. "I don't really have a preference. If I'm too full it becomes rather tight; almost painful. But otherwise it just feels good to have the relief. And erotic…very erotic."

Christian leans down to kiss my breasts as his hand works it's way into my leggings, pulling them down and then off. "Ana, I don't want you in pain, but sometime a little discomfort can make things more intense. This can be the case with ANR. I trust you to tell me your limits and let me know if we ever go too long without a session. I need to know that you aren't in pain. Can you do that for me?"

I close my eyes and lift my chest to him as he bends to kiss my breasts again. "Yes, I can do that," I reply. At this point I'd do practically anything.

Christian begins to suckle in earnest and massages my breast deeply as he suckles. It seems as if the more he massages the more my milk pours from my breast. Finally, the supply begins to subside and he takes the other breast in his mouth. All the while, he is gently rubbing my nub. I can feel copious amounts of liquid as it slides from me, coating his fingers; evidence of my desire for him. I don't know that I've ever been this turned on. As he finishes with my breasts, he slides down in the bed and pulls me over on him, kissing me gently on the mouth. "Ana, I want you to turn around and put your pussy on my face. I want to eat all of this wetness coming from you. I don't think you've ever been this wet and I intend to get my fill of it."

My face flames as I hear his words. While this isn't the first time we've done this, it has always made me embarrassed. It's not that I don't want to, but rather it's because I want to so much. I'm always afraid that I'm going to grind too hard on him. My hesitation goes noticed by Christian, and he lands a quick slap on my ass. "Ana, turn around. Don't overthink this. I know that you love this position, but I also know you won't ask for it. Don't deny me the opportunity to taste you with you as turned on as you are. Please, love."

His words comfort me and the erotic tap he delivered turns me on even more. I quickly reposition myself and his lips immediately find their purchase on my clit. He licks and sucks me through two orgasms, that quickly take my breath with their intensity. As I'm coming down from my second orgasm, I take his dick into my mouth and suck hard, then gently lick up each side. He is continuing to lick me gently but his hands are also massaging my butt, gently easing the tenseness in my glutes from the position I'm holding. I work his member and feel it get even harder, like velvet over steel, and gloat in my ability to turn him on. I can hear him chanting my name, over and over, like a prayer. I can tell he's close, and I wrap my hand around him to provide more friction. As I do so, his finger slips into my anus and he slides two into my vagina. The sensation is too much and all of a sudden I am tipping over with release, holding my breath as the sensations wash over me. He explodes as I do and I quickly swallow his release.

As our heartbeats return to normal, he pulls me up beside him. His face is glistening with the evidence of our escapade and I reach across him to pull a baby wipe from the bedside table. I gently wipe his face, and lean in to kiss him, while wondering if he enjoyed it as much as I did.

I decide to speak my thoughts aloud. "Do you think it will always be this intense. I'm not sure we'll survive." I laugh as I finish my statement, only half kidding.

Christian pulls me to him and holds me tightly. "God I hope so. It'll be a great way to go." He laughs and then kisses me again. "I have to go get cleaned up. I have another meeting at 1:30. I'll probably be late coming home…maybe as late as 9. Will you be okay? Will you need to pump?"

"If you want me to keep up as large of a supply as I currently have I'll need to. Otherwise my supply will start to dry up a bit so that I only have enough for our three times a day adventures."

Christian gently rolls a nipple as he puts an arm behind his head, propping up so that he can see me clearly. "Ideally, I'd like it if you made even more. It really turns me on. But I want you to be comfortable so we can compromise. Whatever you need to do to be comfortable."

I nod my head that I understand and kiss him once more before he rises to take a quick shower. I fully realize that we won't be able to have sex every day at lunch, but it was nice to have him home for lunch and to have time set aside for just me. As he steps into the shower, I make my way to the bathroom to clean up a bit, knowing that I will need another shower when he's done. If I get in with him now, he'll definitely be late for work. We pass in the bathroom, as he is stepping out and I'm stepping in.

"Ana, I'm going to finish dressing and then head back to work. I'm sure Taylor is waiting for me. I'll call or text you later to let you know exactly what time I'll be home. Kiss the kids for me and tell them I love them. Oh, and before I forget, it looks like I may be traveling to North Carolina or Georgia sometime in the next week. It will likely be an overnight trip. You need to be deciding if you want to accompany me or how you'd like to work this. I'm doing my best to minimize the amount of travel I need to do since Phoebe is so young and we need to be with her. Ros is taking most of trips, but I will be needed to sign final contracts."

I bite my lip and wonder how we'll make this work. I know that we're dedicated and we'll figure it out. "Okay, I'll think about it." He kisses me once more, then he's off to the closet to redress for work. As I step into the shower, I think about work and how I'm supposed to go into the office tomorrow. I assume Christian realizes this but perhaps I should text him later with a reminder. I guess we'll need to find a place for our lunch time activities. My mind is filled with planning as I finish up my shower. I suppose the online article was right- this new endeavor certainly does take a lot of planning, but so far it surely seems worth it!


End file.
